Mrembo

If I said I made it through the year because I didn’t snooze, would you doubt me?

 

I woke up almost every morning and hit the road, first a morning ritual; a 15 minutes run and a tummy trim workout (the tummy is still hanging on, smh) but I’m not about that life of giving up too soon. I tried to hit the gym for 2 weeks but my crazy schedule took away my hours, Zumba was my favorite part of the gym workout plan and still is. Have you ever had such a heavy schedule that even your girlfriends take offense when you can’t sneak a day for a hangout plan? You have an 8 to 5 job (definitely not what I’m doing right now, I love it!) that you really wasn’t so excited to wake up to and then very interesting classes that you can’t afford to skip from 5.30 to 8.30pm, there is just something about Daystar University that is irresistible. Sitting in class waiting on learning something new from what you want to pursue all your life, I so love that.

 

It’s been a great year! I know it’s so freaking cliché to write down new year resolutions but that’s just exactly what I did when 2016 began. First I said a very brief prayer but I asked God for so many things, he promised to deliver, we hit a fist bump and I got off my knees with a big smile. For sure most of these things we agreed on were dropped right at my doorstep. God has been exceedingly abundantly faithful which explains how grateful I am to have reached this day, the 29th day of December, 2341 hours.

 

I’m still up deep in thought, strategies left right and center. I rarely go to bed before midnight, but then again I have this sleeping disorder that cannot allow me to peacefully rest throughout the night. In a previous post, you all met my bed-mate, my phone has got lots of tasks to juggle for a whole certain random wee hour of the night – the sleeping disorder. (I’m working on finding out why I can’t go a whole night without losing sleep at some point, it sucks!!). Well, it’s different tonight, this is me trying to list down the kind of people to leave behind in 2016. I have given it too much thought, I have analyzed your life my dear reader, lol. I have analyzed the kind of relationships be it situationships, friendships.. I started this year. I obviously have thought about all the frustrations that brought tears to my eyes, as in the people who frustrated me. I have been disappointed a couple of times but I forgave and amnesia has refused to check in so if you disappointed me, I’m thinking about you right now. I’m thinking about the people I have lost in 2016, I am so angry at death, he or she robbed me off my grandfather, my aunties and just the other day my favorite uncle. So death, I am definitely leaving you in 2016, go away!!!!! And then back to thoughts of people who wronged me in 2016 but I just remembered that I forgave them. So who or what I’m I leaving here?!! on the verge of giving up, can’t figure this out. Perhaps life is such a beautiful thing that there is no point of holding grudges and shutting people out but instead gather the good and count the blessings. What made you happy? What did you achieve? Who did you wrong and what if you didn’t apologize? Simply positive thoughts. Think on these things people.

 

Just as I’m about to sign out, my eyes are so heavy, dry lips – I need to grab a soda from the crates in the kitchen store – festive season things! But just before I tip toe to the kitchen, my little phone vibrates and startles half of my people who had dozed off on the sofas; hahahaha and then this lady goes like; “sasa mrembo, nitakua around kesho, utakam?” End end of this story. I am leaving her behind, who is mrembo?! If you have ever addressed me as mrembo in the past 11 months, we are done. Baki 2016!! Some of these uncourteous words cannot accompany your beautiful resolutions, drop them!

And now there is no more soda left, I laughed so hard at finally getting a person to drop in 2016 after hours of brainstorming and eventually losing it. Just at that right time to disrupt the entire community and get them thirsty all of a sudden. Happy new year Warembo.

2017, Olaaaaa….I see you 🙂

 

 

Taking Stock 2016

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Making: Memories with my loved ones. It’s been a rough year for my family, I just want to be around them; encourage and comfort each other. Also making more and more beautiful memories with my new colleagues and friends.
Thanking: God for landing me in the Public Relations industry, I can proudly refer to myself as a practitioner. A little girl’s dream come true. Driven by passion and nothing but it. Willing to learn even under the craziest of pressures…all I remember is telling the interviewer that I don’t think they need to pay me for being trained (nigg’ was left aloof but that’s what passion is all about). To my Dad I am so grateful that you actually allowed me to go for it and promised to support me till I get financially stable. What in the World would I have done without him?
Hoping: That this new job opportunity will be that ideal place I get all my gears set for the PR World. Too excited.
Eating: Lots of sausages. I’m on a roll of beef and pork sausage cravings.
Drinking: The best of my masala tea. Just come to my house and bond with a tea lover over a cup of one. Just a cup of my favorite masala tea with lots of rosemary leaves, cardamons, the masala itself from Nature’s own and alooooot of milk.
Reading: For the remaining two papers and other three books at the same time; A New Africa Breaks Free, Wanted and The Bible.
Wanting: To go on a trip to Watamu or Malindi with my family this holiday.
Wasting: No time on people who do not add value to my life.
Wishing: I would bring back to life my Uncle Andrew. Rest in Peace. I love you so much. I promise we will be there for Aunty and our cousins every single day. I just wish you had stayed a little bit longer…it is so hard to say goodbye.
Enjoying: My new Job! No doubt!
Wearing: Blue rugged pants, a smashing transparent orange top and a blue blazer. Planning to be in very high black heels for Jeff’s birthday tonight. Whoop!
Following: YALI posts. An aspiring young leader in my industry.
Noticing: Negative people and not planning to associate with them. Positive vibes only for me.
Understanding: My feelings.
Opening: A huge envelope with my old laptop forced to fit in. The broker just brought it back after I refused to take 5,000 for it. I would rather keep it *rolls eyes
Feeling: Great and having no regrets of the things I have done this year. Only very many lessons learnt.
Singing: Africa by Yemi Alade and Sautisol. I’m in love with Yemi.
Thankful: To God for healing my friend Christine Wairimu, I almost lost my mind seeing her suffer for 5 months. Also thankful for my friends, it’s been a good year for us.
Highlighting: Moments in the year that I travelled to Mombasa for the first time on a birthday treat from Christine Wairimu and Levy K. Then another beautiful trip to Diani for a weekend with the girls. Epic moments.
Ending: The year with my Uncle’s funeral on the 16th of December. Sad way to wind up but in God’s hands he rests. Rest in Peace my dearest Uncle Andrew Ouko, Baba Brian. Love and Beyond. I don’t even know where we will begin but watch over all of us.
Loving: The fact that I don’t know what the new year will bring but I’m already thanking God for what is about to happen in my life.

Happy Holidays!!

Blessings
Rees

The Calorie Burn

early-morning-runBeen planning this for like a year now. I remember attending a training workshop at my former workplace sometime last year. On the last day, tiny manila paper cut-offs were circulated. You were asked to write what you want to cut off from your life and never turn back, I carefully wrote down “PROCRASTINATION” as my first point. Sigh!

Hmmmm…and so I asked God to walk with me through this journey of not postponing anything. A few days later I visited my parents back in Nakuru. You know Mothers with their comments when you visit them after a long time. Mine is not an exception. Oh we missed you Boke! that’s what she calls me. As in NyaBOKE..you know! So we held each other so tight for a few minutes then she does the usual inspection from head to toe. You’ve got to love Mums…This Nairobi life is making you lighter by the day and how big have you grown?! I thought there was no food in the city. That’s what they always say whenever you pass by home even when on duty and of course that statement is followed by a gunia stacked in the car full of tomatoes, onions, mboga ya kienyeji, beans, ndengu…et al. Still my Mum insists on how ‘fat’ I have grown since the last time she saw me. But will not remember the number of times she has sent every Tom, Dick and Harry to deliver a gunia after another whenever they come to Nairobi. I love you Mama!

And then my friend Wairimu moved in to a new apartment just next to where I live. So I offer her a first visit to help unpack the bags and what not, only thing she didn’t mention is where exactly she moved into. Which house, which floor? 6th floor, yap! Long story short, I got there panting like a dog with the taste of blood in my mouth and fire in my throat. I couldn’t even move a bag, it’s like I was fighting for breath. Struggling to talk, wheezing like I’d climbed a mountain or something. I don’t even know how climbing a mountain really feels.

I had been so reluctant with my body to even relate my pants not fitting anymore to growing ‘fat’ as my Mum put it. Being that bibliophile, I chose to read about the most basic ways of keeping fit and maintaining a normal lifestyle at the same time.Apart from obesity and a ‘bad heart’, being unfit also causes depression, I read. Keeping fit doesn’t mean losing your body, no. It means keeping healthy, who doesn’t want to avoid being sick?

So the morning run is what I have been planning for the past one year, then snooze happened, waiting to have a partner also happened, pretending to be scared of the dark. Lol. I had all this kind of excuses until this morning. Yes I did it!! For some people it has become a norm and they are wondering what I am writing about but for those of us who have been thinking about it and doing nothing!! Be encouraged.

You don’t have to make a trip to the gym; all you need is a pair of good shoes and a banging playlist. At least, that’s how it feels at first.

On to a few tips:

  • Eat Right. Do not just jump out of bed and onto the terrain. Grab something. You need that energy!!
  • Warm Up. You can’t begin like Kemboi on the track. Jog first then pace up!
  • Set a goal. If you are running around the estate, draw your map. Route. Consistency is key!
  • Stay Hydrated. Water is life. Quench your thirst.
  • Change it Up. You can’t afford to jog everyday. Run, run faster!!!
  • Don’t just run. Rocket jump at some point.
  • Have a post-run ritual. If you have enough time after the run, you could always skip a rope or maybe do your crunches.
  • Rest. Always take a few minutes to relax then jump into the shower and you are ready for a productive day.

Let’s do this people.running

Have a lovely Thursday 🙂

 

 

 

To Kenya Fanatics

Dear Soccer Fans,

Today I will not begin my letter with greetings – even though it’s against what I love the most, formality.

On the 27th of March 2016, there were three suns hanging on top of Nyayo National Stadium, I’m not saying the queue was long, no, it was too long!

I endured the effects of equinox to catch the Kenya vs Guinea Bissau game; I couldn’t afford a VIP ticket, so I paid my KES 300 and joined the spectators at gate 10.

1600 hours was the kick off!

Aaagh! This still doesn’t sound like me.

Let’s go by my feelings. Good afternoon friends, real soccer diehards, and average fans like me; there are many who are still unsure of their passion for the game like me, but we don’t mind accompanying our male bff’s to the city’s sports bars to catch a game.

I personally never thought I would sit on the dusty terraces to catch a local game, I always thought I was too decent for that.

I later came to learn a lot about Kenyan football through my interactions with a person whose relationship with soccer is like that of you and your writing pad, a blogger.

I would direct any questions to him, he stands my blondeness a whole hour trying to make me understand football politics in Kenya, hence my acquired interest, then I slowly began to keep an ear on any comments from whoever I sat next to in a bar, to the ones I queue with to get into the stadium, then later on seek clarification from my teacher.

My best football girlfriend, Wendy asked me out on a local football match sometime last year. Oh well I had nothing to lose since it wasn’t a Gor vs Afc match, I was going to be very comfortable with my fellow Kenyans. It was a hot afternoon, the queue was reasonably long and I somehow enjoyed my first local game with my huge Tusker Malt cans keeping me company, don’t ask me the scores; I didn’t follow anything, just took nice pictures of myself and Wendy and the nagging little boys come* wannabe commentators seated behind us. Game over, Sunday school and the day broke.

…So on this particular Easter Sunday I got home safe after a powerful musical experience in church. Very fast slid into  comfortable pants and a rugby jersey, yes a rugby jersey, I still don’t have a football jersey, with my cap and sneakers I headed out to Nyayo. The game began, the stars played, full of energy, with a huge bottle of pure water, I couldn’t get my eyes off the ball. Guinea were only physically in the pitch during the first half of the match, zero action. My stars let adrenaline rise and drop every 5 minutes..ah-ah! Those boys were good! My wannabe commentators ensured I knew Olunga was number 14 and Wanyama 7 if am not wrong…and then they kept mentioning Were but I didn’t relate who exactly. Sawaaaa, very good! Hawa mid fielders tutawatoa wote after hii game! Hapa hatuna midfield boss. Olunga ako na mguu mrefu, very sure moves!! Composure, composure nayo wako nayo. *claaaaaps..hapo sawa. Phew!!!.. Ha! Alafu Ghafla bin vu before I saved the selfie I had quickly taken, the green boys were celebrating a goal, a goal that the nagging boys were complaining about. They hugged and pounced on each other’s back happily.Oh I know Origi by the way! He looked a troubled man trying to confront the referee but in vain. It was an announced goal, it was a real goal, about 10 minutes to the final whistle, we had no chance of scoring 2 goals to catch up. We had lost that match at home. So why wait for a final whistle of a loss and an assumed rigged goal? “Leo ndio watajua Kenya ni nani”, Onyi shouted through my back and the loud voice was followed by a flying bottle towards the pitch. Ni kubaya, I thought to myself. The camera man flee and left the huge gadget behind. I do not know how I found myself watching the frakas from my living room. I don’t blame Kenyans!! Only problem is that we react violently! (Sigh)

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Photo courtesy of; soka.co.ke

Next time I watch the game from my living room not the frakas. Wololo! And so we were banned, and we are to blame. Proud dear fans, tupunguze hasira tafadhali.

Sincerely,

A concerned new fan.

Valentines with Kenya’s Sautisol

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Looking into their flaws and reminding them about it all the time will not save it. Sometimes see the positive side of a person and say something that will keep them smiling in their sleep. Love is weird, it’s the tiniest of things that count, it’s that “what did you have for lunch” WhatsApp message that makes a heart skip a bit, that gives you butterflies every time it’s a call from him even just to ask, hey! By the way what was that guy’s name we were talking about jana? And your day is made.

We say there are people we can’t date because we have nothing in common or the term we always use to describe a guy who approached you and all your friends, enemies and extended family think he is finally the one but all you can say is ‘I can’t date him because we are different’. What is the meaning of the word different if not the gap between gender? Men and Women are totally opposites and to find a perfect man that is not different from us is to say maybe we should be looking for a homosexual character, with all the neatness and feminine traits, aaah that’s the perfect guy!!! Determining who the correct spouse is and who is not couldn’t be an easy task, tolerating your spouse and controlling yourself from looking into their flaws and instead speaking positive things into their life is also associated with a virtue known as perseverance.

Replace the word ‘Love’ with your name and describe it:

God says, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

And therefore Say…(insert your name)..as is: Mercy is patient, Mercy is kind. Mercy does not envy, Mercy does not boast, Mercy is not proud.  Mercy does not dishonor others, she is not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. Mercy does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Mercy always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Mercy never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

All the above, are you perfect? No! I didn’t think so either.

Let’s raise our glasses, to all those couples that celebrated 14th February together whether married or courting or just started. I salute you!

My highlight for the lovers weekend were the two beautiful fresh rose flowers I got from my favorite band Sautisol and the live launch of their new album was what actually made my valentine. I don’t know about you but if you have attended any of their concerts or witnessed a live performance, AMAZING is not the word, well-choreographed, heavenly vocals, the dancing, the energy. I don’t have the best word to describe them yet but I had a good time #liveandieinafrika Accompanied by one of my favorite cousins Dan and my friend Tracy who was too busy to pose.dv3

To all the lovers out there, keep smiling, keep shinning!!

Xoxo,

Doris.

 

 

 

 

Stop it because you don’t know what it does for me

Screenshot_2016-01-06-19-17-05If you know me pretty well, you must have at some point commented about my relationship. I have this attachment, it’s quite intimate, you see I can’t be in bed alone, I would rather stay up for an hour when the former is not prepared for bed time, by preps I mean the condition in which it’s needed to be in so that when I wake up in the middle of a nightmare I get consolation and company knowing you are there.

I have this problem or is it a condition of waking up in the middle of the night say 2 am and stay awake for the next hour, see sometimes reaching out for the switch can earn you another hour awake. My job is a demanding one, there is no way you can work from home, it’s considered gross misconduct…and then you can’t call in sick just because you had to accidentally sleep over at your lover’s mansion and forgot to carry a change of clothes, it was an accident so it’s allowed. No one’s judging you. You can’t definitely show up at 7.30 am very punctual in the same clothes!! Nooo… We have all had this escapades, it’s part of some age phase in this jisty life. I can’t say my boss is harsh because it sounds shoddy but tough could replace that word, if she doesn’t like you, just know you will be in trouble for the rest of your life. At 19, my first job was a nightmare, this is the boss I’m talking about, she would ensure trouble follows you to your doorstep, you most prolly are familiar with this character of a boss who when you call in sick, they could track you wherever you are and ensure you did not do anything constructive away from that office. You do not have medical insurance but you are expected to deliver a sick note from The Nairobi Hospital, not ‘Nairobi Hospital’… And you are earning nuts and peas and nuts and peas…if you are an insane boss, always remember your children, remember they are growing up and they will be employed, No? Always remember. So I have to be in  the office by 7.30!! My bestie is always up before me, so I can’t be late, who wouldn’t want to sleep next to my bestie kama you are sure you won’t be late!

Any who, in my insomniac condition, there is no way you will tell me to stare at the ceiling and get back my sleep. Sometimes I hate it when they all complain about my partner, you don’t know the kind of company I enjoy when I can’t get sleep and can’t switch on the lights to do nothing, you don’t know how much knowledge I acquire in that one wee hour of the night, you don’t know how much it pays to concentrate for an hour, little did you know that full concentration and alertness of the mind gets you to sleep. Every minute I touch my companion, you want to eat me alive, that I have acquired ASB while on the other end if I follow your advice you rarely have anything that will build me up. I promise to file a divorce if you send me a better companion. I love my htc. I am not anti-social. I am just looking for answers, keeping up with current affairs, social media has kind of made me who I am today. I will tell you how and why in my next post.

Happy 2016!!!

Don’t blame me if you see me on my phone throughout the year, just come closer and witness what she really does for me. She is my best bestie!! ;-)…In fact I’m holding her right now, see what she’s done!-help me put up a new post on a not so dormant blog.

So stop it, if you need anybody’s attention just request them kindly! Don’t snatch their phone and dance away with it. You never know what they are on, it ain’t always I.G honey!

(ASB-Anti-Social Behavior)

Xoxo….Dee.

The night club ordeal

By now you have all heard the terrifying breaking news. The 1824 whiskey bar could be no more. Kwisha! Finished! Gone, gone, GONE!!! With no warning, like a beloved pet who just died. Like a girlfriend who just left you for a rich man. Like Huddah Monroe’s lie ati she acted as Kayai in Vitimbi back in the day!Lol…some lies though!gone gone! (RIP Mzee Ojwang). Party might be over. Kidero has vowed to bring it down, the memes on twitter will kill you! Anyway, I’m more concerned about pork than the club itself, the best pork South of Sahara North of Limpopo ……*sigh!!

……..Bars and restaurants will be packed for the weekend, but before you head out, one local woman wants you to hear her story hoping you won’t end up in the same predicament.

Don’t you think you should be able to go to a restaurant or bar or club and enjoy a drink not to worry about if you are going to make it home?.

About a week ago, I met a stranger, we shall just call her Brenda.

“If I had actually passed out before exiting the club, I have no idea what could have happened to me”. Brenda said she had been invited by a friend for a drink with another friend. Well on a weekday, this is obviously a polite date, a polite drink, nobody drowns in booze with an 8-5 job on a Thursday, unless you are the boss and anyway when you are the boss you are meant to be more productive than your junior colleagues. You are a leader.

A famous expensive whiskey bottle went down, Brenda and her girlfriend have done this before, they are not new to the bottle, no! That’s exactly what they term a polite drink.

They only remember having a good time before she lost it, it was devastating, “I don’t know how to describe that feeling, I was pretty much okay and watching over her as I thought maybe she had drunk more than enough and got carried away too fast, I knew she was gonna be better after two or three bottles of pure water but no, she couldn’t even swallow a single gulp, I began to get cautious and requested our third-party to take us home but she disappeared before we knew it. Looking for her was a task and remember the crazy feeling, galloped the two bottles of water but there wasn’t a slight change, I had to be strong and get a hold of my friend, I just had to. I was confused, my body was getting drained, I was tired, my feet were feeble, trembling, I totally panicked, tried to call a close friend in the area, no answer!! Then voila! she is helplessly seated at the corner with strangers, I sigh with relief and manage to drag her to the car. At this point, she can hardly say a word, I only remember the last of us both throwing up, the next thing I wake up on a hospital bed.”…..Brenda painfully narrates. If it were not for their other good friend who was not a victim, they cannot even think of what could have become of them.

You see these things don’t happen everyday but the worst is you may never be able to tell what exactly happened to you, you will not blame your companions, you will not blame the restaurant or bar or club, you can only blame yourself for not being careful and not keeping an eye on the people around. You may not have good drinking buddies who will get concerned and get medical attention for any weird actions. We all have that one drinking buddy we are so comfortable around and with them you are assured of waking up in your house when worse comes to worse.

B and her friend are too comfortable with each other but these happened to both of them at the same time, make it your own responsibility to be your own keeper and also always your friend’s keeper.

By the time you become aware that your drink has been altered, you may already be feeling the effects of the drug. Because there’s no way to be certain whether your drink or a friend’s drink has been spiked, it’s important to educate yourself and practice caution in all situations.drink-spike

Although alcoholic beverages are most likely to be spiked, limiting yourself to soda or other non-alcoholic beverages won’t necessarily protect you. Some of these drugs are tasteless and colorless and can be blended easily into any liquid. The most commonly used drugs cause inhibition, sedation and memory loss, making them the perfect tools to facilitate a crime.

What would motivate someone to spike another person’s drink, putting that person at risk of a potentially terrible situation or overdose? There are a lot of possible motives, ranging from serious crimes like rape and robbery to practical jokes or pranks. A stranger might add a drug to your drink in order to make you unconscious and assault you. On the other hand, a friend might spike your drink  in order to help you “loosen up” and “have a good time.”

“We have not stopped clubbing, we have not stopped drinking because we enjoy hanging out and having a good time but we are more cautious than ever”! It can happen to you, it can happen to anybody else. Wake up, and open your eyes.

HAPPY 32ND LUPITA

LUPITA SLAVE2 LUPITA SLAVE

You know, that sometimes in life, everyone has role models and you look up to them for different reasons. Like, you look up to your father, your uncle or any other person you value. They are role models because they ‘get you through life and they teach you a lot of things. They have their views and philosophies on life and in general, and you listen, because they are older and have been there and done it. They inspire you in different ways and you learn a great deal from them about life and stuff.

Well, I have this person I really look up to and would like to pay tribute to today. I consider her a successful person and would love to be like her.Lupita Nyong’o is my role model. She is an award winning actress and is also known by her famous quote: “When I look down at this golden statue (her award), may it remind me and every little child that no matter where you are from, your dreams are valid.” Lupita is a Mexican-Kenyan actress and film director. She was born in Mexico but was raised in Kenya. In 2008 she made her acting debut with the short film “East River” and returned to Kenya to star in the TV series “Shuga”, and this is where I met Lupita, I loved her character, her boldness took me away. She starred as Ayira who sleeps with her boss at Maverick advertising, she juggled two men in this sexually charged MTV Base Africa soap opera. It is not one of the easiest roles for an African woman, raised in Kenya considering the values we are taught, not many of us would be bold enough to take up that kind of role and let it air on National TV or International TV. She is courageous, her confidence builds my confidence each day, loyalty, sacrifice and most of all her character, in the real World, she is so humble. Her exotic beauty and heart-wrenching portrayal of a tormented slave Patsey in 12 years a slave catapulted her to stardom. She was nominated for several awards including Best Support actress which she won at the Oscar’s and became the fifteenth actress to win an Oscar for a debut performance in a feature film.

Lupita’s accomplishments make her my all time role model, I want to make it up that list just like her. She has talent that surpasses every difficulty that comes her way and that is why she has always been able to overcome them. Her style is exquisite, her fashion sense is a plus, she is gorgeous, beautiful, her black is too beautiful and a proud african woman. Her level of Education also inspires me, she has struggled up the knowledge ladder even with her busy life, she always finds time to study and add up a grade on her certificates. I would like to leave a legacy one day because I know for sure even my Children will learn about her in books in the near future. That’s my hero!

In conclusion, this is my all time favourite Lupita quote, “ I hope that my presence on your screen and my face in magazines may lead you, young girls, on a beautiful journey. That you will feel the validation of your external beauty but also get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside.” And for sure she is leading me on a beautiful journey. Today, she turns 32, Happy Birthday Lupita.

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Stop Hating: Five Reasons It Pays to Get Happy About Other People’s Success

According to the Urban Dictionary, a “hater” can be defined by:

  • A person who feels anger and/or jealousy for someone who has succeeded in something they have worked hard for.
  • A being that speaks badly, and/or takes negative actions in attempt to create problems for a successful person.

Clearly, being a “hater” is not a good thing. And how we handle other people’s success, especially when things may not be going so well for us, is an indicator of our maturity and belief in ourselves.

So what do you do when you see someone thriving with the opportunities, recognition, clients and wins that you want for your life or business? You learn to celebrate other people’s success.

If you master generating genuine happiness for other people, not only will you find a cure for the envy, which can sabotage your success, but there are additional benefits as well. Here’s what you open the door to as you welcome and express joy for others:

  • Freedom from frustration and worry. When you see another person’s win as a loss for you, you pave the way for discouragement and resentment to set in. Instead allow other people’s success to ignite hope for the success coming in your time of harvest.
  • More opportunities to be happy! Rejoicing with others creates an opportunity to multiply the good times you get to celebrate. By seizing every chance to sincerely congratulate other’s on their success, you are creating an atmosphere for others to be willing to celebrate your successes.
  • Improved relationships with others. Healthy relationships involve sharing both ups and downs. People are more likely to respond positively to you if they sense that you’re truly happy for them.
  • Good karma. You reap what you sow. Giving unselfishly creates a win for everybody.

I know, it all sounds good, but how do you actually pull it off — and do it sincerely? Here are seven ideas:

  1. Proactively look for opportunities to shine a spotlight on someone else. Keep in touch with what’s going on in the lives of the people around you. Others may be bashful about mentioning their own victories but still appreciate having their efforts recognized.
  2. Create a daily gratitude list. It’s difficult to be happy for other people when you are dissatisfied with your life. Remind yourself of all the wonderful things you have to be grateful for. Go one step better and share one thing a day with someone.
  3. Be aware of your jealousy. Weigh the consequences of jealousy and envy. Be honest with yourself when you notice your thoughts and feelings heading down a negative path.
  4. “Fake it till you make it.” Or as Karen Salmansohn says — “Faith it till you make it.” It’s okay to use some artificial gestures to get started. Even if you’re not purely happy that your ex-husband got an award, you can say something gracious.
  5. Start with the people you love. Charity starts at home and so should the celebration. It might be difficult to get instantly excited about the lives of strangers. However, you can start by focusing on the people closest to you. For example, cheer with enthusiasm when your cousin wins an award, your brother gets a promotion, or a friend successfully closes a deal.
  6. Work your way up to dealing with the hard stuff. For example, celebrating with someone that got something you wanted for yourself or being happy for someone you believe is undeserving.
  7. With practice, you’ll be able to tackle the more sensitive issues. When you find the techniques that work with the people you love, you can use those same strategies with more challenging opportunities.

So the next time someone you know gets great news, don’t hate — celebrate with them. Remember, you reap what you sow: You can look forward to welcoming more joy into your own life as you celebrate other people’s success.

By Speaker, Coach and Brilliance Catalyst.